emotional wisdom

Grieve instead of Hate

/ evgeniapimzin / Leave a comment

Dear Child,

as grown as you are, remember –

It is not wrong to hate. It is human.
You were pained, betrayed, treated unjustly. The feeling itself is not the sin — it is the signal. It tells you that something sacred was violated. But if you let that hatred take root for too long, it becomes your captor, not your protector.

Those walls you built around your heart may have kept the pain out, but they have also kept you in. You mistake protection for peace, silence for strength, and the weight of your armour for safety. Without realising it, you begin living inside the very cage that hatred built.

Ask yourself gently — who is hurting you now? Who is betraying you now? The wound was theirs to give, but the keeping of it has become yours. The battle ended long ago, yet you still wake as if the war never stopped.

Grieve instead of hate. Let the sorrow move through you until it softens. It was never hatred that filled your heart – only the feelings you locked away. Set them free, and keep only the wisdom.

Life is not a battleground, my dear one. It is a classroom for the soul, where even the hardest lessons eventually reveal themselves as disguised forms of grace.

Step out of the cage. The sky still remembers how to hold you.
And when you rise, you will remember how to be free.

All my love,
~ Evgenia Pimżin

The Quiet Rebellion of Happiness

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I spent a long time collecting reasons not to be happy – and all of them were valid.

I was hurt, overlooked, mistreated, misunderstood.

I carried what others should have carried. They should have known better, been accountable, changed their ways. I remembering trying to speak to them about their behaviour, or confided in someone who brushed off my experience.

Sometimes, I kept their secrets to protect a loved one, or endured their silences because I refused to play their game. I built walls not because I wanted to, but because the world taught me early that softness was unsafe.

There came to an impasse, where I had decide that the past no longer defined the quality of my present. Happiness , I decided, was not a reward for those who had an easy story – it was an act of rebellion for those like me.

It was a quiet, deliberate choice to stop rehearsing my pain and begin reclaiming my life on my terms, because deep down, I already knew what I knew.

Choosing happiness did not erase what happened. It did not excuse cruelty or dismiss my wounds. It simply meant I no longer was willing to make those wounds – or the people who caused them – my mental and emotional home. I can honour my pain without worshipping it. I can remember without reliving.

And yes, the world, kept insisting that happiness was naïve, that in choosing happiness, I ignored depth, injustice, reality and that I was a victim.

But now I know this – happiness, when chosen consciously, is the deepest form of wisdom.

It is not the absence of awareness; it is the presence of perspective. It is what happened when I stopped waiting for others to change and began building a life that nourishes my spirit today, on my terms.

So I released the need to make every scar my identity.

I allowed myself to have joy even if my story is unfinished, even if my heart still trembled when I trusted again. I refuse to believe that I am betraying my past when I choose to live fully.

I am redeeming my life. I am telling the past, I am done with being your prisoner.

And in that space, I learned happiness is neither always laughter or sunlight.

Sometimes it’s a quiet evening where I breath steady again.

Sometimes it’s choosing to let something go without bitterness.

Sometimes it’s simply waking up and saying, “I am still here, and that is enough for today.”

I have learned that the choice to be happy is not about pretending.

It is about returning to myself, and to the life that is still waiting beyond my pain.

I meet it daily noe because it has been waiting patiently for me.

~ Evgenia Pimżin