self-worth

Assuming I belong

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There is always a part of me that feels I don’t belong. It doesn’t matter who I’m with — family or not, loving or not, accepting or not. The thought is persistent and irrational, a quiet but insistent whisper that lives somewhere in my mind.

I recognise it immediately when it appears. My heart sinks into the hollow between my breasts, my breath becomes shallow, and my body stiffens, then numbs. These physical signals are familiar to me. Inevitably, I feel disconnected from my surroundings, as though I’ve slipped into a psychological tunnel, far away from the people beside me — even when our shoulders are touching.

I know this thought, and the way my body responds to it, is unproductive and, frankly, toxic.

Yesterday, a friend invited me to a Sunday indoor spa afternoon with a group of women. My first instinct was to decline. Instead, I paused. I questioned the messages running through my mind — and the stories my eyes were already telling me.

I questioned my inner voice.

What if I do belong?
What if I simply assumed I belonged?

And then another thought followed: what if belonging requires nothing more than assumption? What if, in that assumption, my heart relaxed — and in relaxing, expanded outward? How differently would I experience my reality then?

So I assumed. And then I assumed some more. I even began to enjoy rewriting the evening in my mind, deciding — deliberately — that these women enjoyed and valued my company too.

There were five of us. We met at four in the afternoon. There was small talk, cheese platters, fruit, cake, soft drinks, and later coffee. We talked and laughed and shared stories until ten that night. Somewhere along the way, a warm, gentle bubble formed around us — and I was inside it.

We laughed freely. We ate without counting calories or weighing ourselves down with judgment. We were simply present.

I think when the whispers return — and they will — I won’t try to silence them. Instead, I’ll choose to assume a different truth. One that serves me.

I belong wherever I assume I belong.

And it is a delicious feeling.

~ Evgenia Pimżin

Learning To Love From a Place of Power

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Love is one of the most difficult and complex states to master because it is an emotion, an action, and a choice.

For me, it was especially challenging to learn how to operate from a position of love. I did not grow up in a loving environment, and the only “template” I had was fawning – the behaviour that once kept me safe because it earned attention. My now-husband was the first to show me that this was not love. It was a defence response. When he gently asked me to stop, I felt exposed and even defensive. Yet he preferred that real version of me – the version I was not acquainted with yet.

His manner of relating forced me to dig deep, to develop the skills I had never been taught, to make conscious choices that built trust and intimacy rather than fear and appeasement.

It took me a very long time – decades – to learn how to come from love when interacting, how to stay in love in daily life, and how to return to love regardless of my moods or the chaos within me. Through that process, I met all the parts of myself: my insecurities, my false beliefs, my internal map, my fragile sense of self, my lack of boundaries, and my fear of stepping into my own power.

I kept myself small. I was nice to everyone, even when they treated me poorly. I feared the word “no,” both saying it and hearing it. And deep inside, I wanted my husband to be my knight in shining armour.

But my husband – a strong, grounded alpha male – believed that my life was mine to lead. He saw no point in managing my daily choices or defending me at every turn. That, he believed, was my job. And so, he loved me steadfastly while I learned to build a life where I was in charge: my boundaries, my decisions, my voice, my self-respect.

This was his love in action – quiet, constant, unwavering. He made sure I was never in need and that I felt protected as the woman he honoured and built a life with.

Meanwhile, I was on a long learning curve: how to return to love again and again, how to reveal myself slowly, how to let others reveal themselves in turn, how to give love without emptying myself, and how to receive it without shrinking.

And then, one day, something in me went AHA. A whole new world opened. Suddenly I was the main actor in my own life, surrounded by people who aligned with who I was becoming. I saw how bountiful life truly is – and I was overwhelmed that I had lived so long without seeing it.

I now know that coming from a position of love makes me feel rich, powerful, and grounded – because love has always been the foundation of life.

Now, I return to love as my home base. It is a daily discipline, yes, but also a choice — because, in truth, it is where I feel safest and most alive.

~ Evgenia Pimżin

Are You Lying To Your Soul?

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Relationships are complex atoms – made of many subatomic parts – but the forces that govern them are deeply personal. Behind every person is their own history, their own pathway of experiences, beliefs, thoughts, passions and triggers.

At the heart of relationships, whether intimate or not, one core question must be asked: “What will I tolerate? And what will I not?” Until you can answer those two questions with absolute clarity – not based on hope or potential – you will simply go round in circles.

People are, in truth, very predictable.
It is you and I, with our soft hearts, who have allowed too much for too long.

Because we live with big hearts, we think that if we are good enough, do enough, love deeply enough, focus on their good moments and their small flashes of appreciation, we will somehow be rewarded with a good life.

Faulse, my dear friend.
Completely faulse.

Unless a person’s behaviour truly changes, unless they actively seek the skills they need to heal and to do better, their words that they will change are merely manipulation.

And I will tell you the kindest truth you may ever hear:
You can choose to hope that they will one day look at your beautiful face with love pouring from their every pore.
But then, I fear, you cannot complain.

Because if you keep entering a hungry lion’s cage,
you will be bitten – again and again and again.

So, I wrap my arms around your soul,
and ask you to think long,
think earnestly,
and honestly.

Ask yourself, “Am I lying to my soul?”

Do not rush to answer this question.
But do not take too long.
Because your future is – and always will be – your concern alone.

~ Evgenia Pimżin

Rooted in Worth

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Dear Child,
as grown as you are, remember —

There will be times when your kindness feels misplaced in a world that rewards sharpness and celebrates noise. You will look around and wonder why cruelty seems to win, why indifference rises faster than grace. You may even question whether your gentleness belongs here at all.

But I want you to understand this: your softness was never weakness. It was the language of your soul trying to stay intact in a world that had forgotten its own. You were never meant to match its pace or mirror its values. You were meant to remain rooted in your worth – unshaken, steady, and quietly radiant.

The world will hand out prizes for appearances, popularity, and performance. Let them. Those prizes fade as quickly as they’re received, etched only in memory and shallow time. Your reward lies elsewhere – in how deeply you’ve touched life with your warmth, in the peace that follows you when your words align with your heart.

So stop measuring yourself by the applause of others. The day you understand that your worth was never tied to their approval is the day you step into your full soul. You were not born to win the world; you were born to understand it, to navigate through it with discernment and compassion – and to protect the part of you that still feels deeply.

Never trade your tenderness for acceptance. Never shrink to fit into smaller hearts. You are not here to compete for admiration, but to contribute presence, truth, and quiet strength.

Stay rooted in that knowing, dear one. It will carry you further than any prize the world could offer.

All my love,
~ Evgenia Pimżin

Let Go Of Worn Out Memories

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Dear Child,

as adult as you feel, remember:

Come sit by me and

rest in my love.

Know you are not alone.

Your experiences are part of the human journey

that is what makes it tragic,

jaded

and so very predictable.

Those memories – the ones that defined you for so long,

that shaped your choices,

your perceptions of self –

you misinterpreted them.

You accepted the lie instead of the truth.

You are precious. You always were.

You are loved. You always have been.

You are strong. You know it.

You are beautiful. You’ve always shone.

So, as we sit together,

take your beliefs in your hand.

Refine them.

See them through the eyes of insight.

You forgot to weight your memories,

against the health of the other –

their emotional, mental, spiritual state.

Unless you factor that in,

your memories lies.

So, let go of those worn-out memories

with truth and an eagle’s gaze.

Rise above the human noise,

see the lesson, the growth,

the quiet expansion of your being.

I am here – always.

Come, sit by me, dear child,

and let go.

Give yourself permission, to live the life

you have always deserved.

All my love,

~ Evgenia Pimżin

When You Find Yourself Zagging

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Dear Child,

as grown as you are, remember –

Sometimes, when everybody is zigging

You may feel you are zagging

Your softness, kindness may feel out of place

In a world that chases the appearances of the prize

Above humanity’s human touch.

Stop questioning your worth.

Based on the shallow values

that the world promotes.

The prizes are eventually forgotten

etched only in memory and in an ancient time.

The day you realize your worth,

had nothing to do with the world

but how touched life in its warmth,

and it was the language of your core

is the day you step into your soul.

So, stop chasing the wind.

You were not meant to fit neatly

into the world’s shape.

Nor the barrenness

Of its core.

See, dear one,

You job was to learn the skill

to navigate your soul.

To protect it

And never let them go.

All my love,

~ Evgenia Pimżin

On Growing New Wings

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Dear Child,

As grown as you are, remember —

A butterfly emerging from its cocoon
is dishevelled at first,
its wings soft and crumpled
until it pumps life into them,
and they dry —
and then, it flies.
And flies.
And flies.

This is you too.

There will be many seasons
of dishevelment in your life —
times when you are earning new wings,
preparing quietly for your next flight.

With each new flight
come different challenges, new loves,
fresh disappointments, unexpected joys.
And you learn to fly higher,
stronger, steadier —
because your wings have known the weight
and learned how to rise.

You forge new skills,
see new sights,
meet new souls.
And through it all,
you find your way —
each and every time.

Keep flying,
and fly high.

All my love,
— Evgenia Pimżin