I remember being a child and wanting whatever fad swept through school. My father would always ask, “If everyone jumped into the fire, would you?”
Of course I wouldn’t – logic told me fire burns.
But as I grew older, the simplicity of that logic met reality.

Do people deserve respect when they do not respect me?

Intangible matters have a way of blurring what once felt obvious. Being disrespected hurt – it embarrassed me, made me feel small, insignificant, even ashamed. Like everyone else, I thrived when I was treated with dignity.

But I also noticed something unexpected: I did not feel stronger, safer, or better about myself when I disrespected those who had disrespected me. It felt hollow. It felt beneath me.

Somewhere along the way I learned that a strong sense of self is the shield against disrespect. It allowed me to remain respectful regardless of the other person, regardless of the room I stood in, regardless of how sharp or gifted I was with words.

There is enormous power in simply looking at someone with quiet, candid pity – not hostility –  and staying grounded in myself. Sometimes the most dignified act is to walk away without letting their chaos infiltrate my inner world.

When I mastered this, I realised how deeply empowering it was. It affected others more than any noise, rage, or rudeness could. More importantly, it freed me. I was no longer at the mercy of other people’s emotional storms. I became separate from their flaws, their turmoil, their behaviour – and that separateness became my truest form of self-respect.

And in that space, I discovered a powerful truth:
When you no longer need to react to disrespect, you naturally begin to respect everyone – not because they deserve it, but because you do.
Your calm becomes a mirror. Their behaviour no longer belongs to you.

Disrespecting others, to me, is a sign that somewhere inside, I have forgotten how to respect myself.

~ Evgenia Pimżin